Aaron Steinmetz

...be very still...the bird's angry...and I think he can see us.

No Doubtfire

If you’re like me, you’ve been wondering two things for decades: one, “When will they make a Mister Doubtfire?” And two, “What happened to the three kids?  Gosh I hope they’re okay.”

Well you can stop holding your breath.  I have good news for you: Mara Wilson and Lisa Jakub, the eldest and youngest daughters irrespectively, are both perfectly fine.  They’ve managed to escape the dangerous minefield of acting to live normal, healthy lives...effectively rendering my plot for Mr. Doubtfire an impossibility, but let’s be honest here: there was never going to be a sequel to Mrs. Doubtfire.

Then again, maybe there will.  Because it seems Matthew Lawrence (the middle child) is still acting.  Why, he could take a page from his dad and don the rubber mask to repair the fractured relationship with his own family.  Hilarity will ensue as the plot–totally different from the original–unravels.

He’ll have to press his face into a pie startling the male case worker.

His children, two sons and one daughter, will be enlisted to help with the cover-up, but they’ll leave out the oldest because he can’t be trusted.

They’ll all be British, but the mother will date an American.

See?  Totally different in every possible way.

Don’t you just know it’ll be a great, amazing, fantastic cash-cow of a money-maker regardless how the movie turns out!?  The cheaper the better.  If I leave the ending open, it could be a trilogy: Mrs. Doubtfire 2, Mr. Doubtfire, Ms. Doubtfire, Señora Doubtfire!  The possibilities are endless!

Or maybe I could just leave well enough alone.

Seriously, though, I’ve been following Lisa Jakub’s blog for a while now and it’s quite good.  I’ve only just stumbled onto Mara Wilson’s after I read an amusing article she wrote for Cracked, but I’m sure it’s quite good as well.

I have no idea what Matthew Lawrence is up to.  Probably a couple mill.